Open Letter to Andrea Leadsome

Dear Mrs. Leadsome:

Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on being named Environment Secretary.  Your years of experience as a debt trader, Deputy Director in the Barclays’ Financial Institutions team, hedge fund director, and MP, make you uniquely qualified be responsible for instituting environmental policy in our country.  At least you ask the relevant questions, like “Is Climate Change Real”.

I would, however, like to raise a question regarding your comments surrounding gender roles in childcare.  You are rather keen on using the phrase “As a mother”, so I would like to address my concerns “as a father” of 2 gorgeous children who are (along with my wife) my entire world.  I am worried however.  Am I a paedophile?  I don’t believe so, but then again, I am not a mother, nor a politician, and I am certainly not qualified to be an Environment Secretary, so I must leave these sorts of concerns to people far more qualified than me.  Obviously, you are the perfect candidate.  Less “Ask Jeeves” and more “Ask Andrea”.  So, whilst these are not in your new remit, you are still the most qualified to answer my questions.  After all, you are a mother.

Should my wife be worried when she leaves the children in my care?  After all, all paedophiles are men, so the chances of me being a paedophile are obviously 50% higher, as I lack the relevant oestrogen to prevent me from child molestation.  Obviously, she shall not be hiring a male nanny, mainly because our combined salaries would not allow for such a luxury.  But, if she did, and a male showed up, should she immediately contact the police?  She she restrain this individual, whilst waiting for the police to arrive, or just take the relevant contact details so the police can go and arrest him, take his laptop and mobile phone and lock him up for good, as he is obviously a sexual deviant.  However, it doesn’t solve the problem that is known as Steevi (or daddy, as I am also known as).  Should I be ejected from the family home, only allowed supervised visits and definitely no sleepovers.  After all, the welfare of my children are of the most paramount importance to me.

Should we take your guidance, I do have to ask.  Is there any wiggle room on the whole gay marriage thing?  Obviously, I want my wife to be happy, so I wonder if you can soften your stance on this, or is it set in stone?

Must admit that I am confused about a couple of things?  How much research have you done on the whole male nannies and paedophilia.  Far be it from me to question you.  I am just a lowly IT engineer.  Obviously, we know that it’s impossible to be a female child molester (other than Jennifer Rice, Courtney Reschke, Jill Dudley, Ashley Jessup, Sarah Hopkins, Leah Shipman, Hendrika Shaskey, the two mothers who arranged for their children to be raped by Ian Watkins…, Loren Morris, Barbara Ellen Kirby, Daresa Deann Poe, and Joy Morsi…  we shouldn’t count those, should we?), but if our children are at risk from male nannies, should we not also look at other industries as well.  After all, male teachers, life guards, politicians, policemen, doctors, nurses, lollypop people, anyone working in retail, scoutmasters, etc.  They all have interaction with children, and could also be devious.  Should my wife be worried?  Perhaps she shouldn’t be reporting that male nanny to the police.  What if a male police office shows up, and part of the same ring as the nanny?

I suppose we can all take solace in The Church, though.  No history of abuse there, thank God.

These are the things keeping me up at night, and I need your wisdom!

Still, at least I know the environment is fine!

Warmest Regards

Steevi Diamond

Lawyers, Guns and Money

To quote Warren Zevon, “The Shit Has Hit the Fan”.

Another day in the US of A, my home from home, a place that I hold dear in my heart.  Probably dearer than Turkey, which I call my second home…

I have a lot of homes.

So it would appear that there has been another mass shooting, this time in gay bar in Florida.  This hits home for me somewhat, as the theatre group that I worked with had a lot of gay connections, and I often found myself down at the Stonewall club in Allentown, as they mixed their drinks stong, I knew the barmen, and it was a completely comfortable and friendly atmosphere.

Pop Trivia Question for ya…  Do you know how many mass shootings there have been in the USA in the last 25 years?  372!  A mass shooting is where 4 or more people have been injured or killed.  372!!!  475 people have died and nearly 2000 people have been injured.  Since Columbine, there have been 9 shootings in the US where the death toll has been 12 or more.  In these 9 events, 197 people have died and 230 injured.  Let that sink in for a moment.  That’s an average of 22 people killed per mass shooting and 26 people injured.

Now, this latest fucktard douchbag claims that he was IS, and (of course) IS are quick to claim responsibility because it makes them look bad (or good….  depending on your slant), but not every shooting in the USA is the result of some kind of religious extremist.  Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold, Seung-Hui Cho, Adam Lanza, Jiverly Wong, George Hennard….  None of these people had ties to terrorism, IS, Al-Qaeda, etc.  They were just complete maniacs with access to firearms.

Now, the right-wing will quote the Constitution (most of them only know the Right to Bear Arms and Refusal to give evidence due…  2nd and 5th I believe).  Now, the exact wording of the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution of the United States says “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”  Now, this (IMO) refers to the states having the right to have their own Militia, and for that militia to be armed.  Was Omar Mateen a member of a state-sponsored Militia?  Of course not.  He was just a fucking homophobic murderer, who conveniently used IS as an excuse to justify mass murder, using weapons purchased completely legally.  The right-wing are also quick to point out that “Guns don’t kill people….  people kill people.”  And they are absolutely right.  It sure has hell makes it a lot easier to kill people though.  And where do you draw the line?  I mean, why can’t I own a nuclear weapon.  After all…  nukes don’t kill people, the person who launches the nuke is actually responsible.

Now, of course the NRA and the right-wing don’t want gun control…  It’s big business.  The annual revenue made from firearms and ammunition manufacturing is $13.5.  According to ATF figures, the number of pistols, revolvers, rifles, shotguns and miscellaneous firearms manufactured: 4,441,726 pistols, 725,282 revolvers, 3,979,570 rifles, 1,203,072 shotguns, and 495,142 miscellaneous firearms.  That’s 10,847, 792 weapons made in ONE YEAR.  They estimate that the economical impact of the firearms industry in the US in 2013 is $42.9 Billion Dollars.  When you’re talking those sorts of numbers, why should 200 odd people being shot matter?  After all, not everyone who owns a gun is a crook.

Well, tell that to the parents who will never hold their children again…

Lawyers, Guns and Money

 

A Letter to my American Friends

Now…. If I were an American voter, I think I would have voted Bernie all day long. Appears to be an honest, down to earth geezer with the less-fortunate at heart. But let’s face it, nice guys don’t win when it comes to high office. Bernie just wasn’t ruthless enough, as it’s not in his apparently nature.

However, I trust the American people to make history again. You’ve already elected a black President, and in this person’s opinion, one of the best president’s that your country has ever seen. So why not make history again, and elect your first female president? Whether or not you like Hilary, this will really be the case of “a rabid dog would still be better than the other guy”. It will be a massive milestone.

If Trump wins, it will be a dark day for American politics, and will have a serious effect on how the rest of the world views the USA. I realise that the chest-thumping, shotgun in the air firing, red-blooded ‘MERCANS will tell me to butt out of US politics, the US of A don’t need the rest of the world, you need to sort your own shit out, you guys elected a pig fucker, blahdeblahdeblah. This all may be true, but it’s a sad state of affairs when I look at Trump and would rather 8 more years of W. Does Trump scare me? You better believe it! He’s a divider, not a uniter. He’s almost Sith in his thinking “If you’re not with me, you’re against me”. He’s a FAILED business man. Sure, he’s had “The Apprentice” and got people believing that he’s some kind of business guru. How many failed businesses? How many bankruptcies? How much money did he inherit? We’ve got “The Apprentice” over here to, with Lord Sugar. He built an empire from nothing. He’s never declared bankrupt. He’s a SUCCESSFUL businessman. He’s also a massive Tottenham Hotspur fan, but that’s by the by. Trump will damage the USA’s standing in the world far greater than Bush could have ever done, and that’s saying something.

I love the USA. It’s my home from home, and I would move back there in a heartbeat. Hilary may be a career politician, standing there in a $12,000 Armani suit, talking about helping the less fortunate. That’s politics, and it isn’t going to change anytime soon. However, if Trump wins, the political landscape in the US will change, and definitely not for the better.

Bernie didn’t get the nomination. In an ideal world, he would have done. I can only hope that Clinton sees that if Bernie is added to the ticket as VP, then together, then can smash the shit out of this election, and Trump can go back to his casual sexism and starting a new failed business.

Trump Incontinence Pads perhaps?